Because I completed all of the prerequisite courses for the Occupational Therapy Assistant Program last semester, I am currently taking Communications which is the last class needing to be completed before I begin the program in August. Though it is not the most challenging or thought provoking class that I have ever taken, if there is one thing I have learned and will take away from this course, it is how to be a better listener.
Most of us would argue that we almost always aim to understand what others are saying but more often than not, we become distracted by other things and forget to pay full attention to the person who is communicating a message to us. We need to listen to understand, not to respond. Though there are many things a person can do to avoid becoming distracted, my textbook listed two things that I personally believe are most important when listening to someone. First, withhold judgment and second, demonstrate an attitude of equality.
In my opinion, nothing positive comes from judging someone. It's a game of comparison. You compare yourself to them only to find that you think, for whatever reason, that you are superior to them. Or, in the opposite situation, you find yourself belittling who you are as a person because you feel that you aren't as competent in one area or another as they are. So, stop judging. There is always someone who has it worse than you do. On the other hand, there will always be someone who has it better than you. But if you truly listen to someone, listen to what they are saying and try to understand how they are feeling, you no longer have that sick need to place yourself above or below them because by understanding them, you eliminate that all-natural human judgment that comes from ignorance. And by eliminating judgment, you begin to demonstrate an attitude of equality.
For those of you who watch Modern Family, you may remember when Mitchell said, "People can surprise you. You get used to thinking of them one way... stuck in their roles, they are what they are... and then they do something that shows you there's all this depth and dimension that you never knew existed." If we withhold judgment and demonstrate an attitude of equality, we may just find that not everyone is who we thought they were. We may find that we have more respect for people than we thought we did. And most importantly, we may find that people will be more willing to confide in us because they trust that we will listen to understand them, not just to respond to them.