sleepless Sunday nights that turn into Monday mumblings

     When I began this blog, I did not intend to bring religion into many of my posts.  This wasn't because I am embarrassed or ashamed to do so, but because even though I didn't expect many people to read them, I wanted them to be applicable, uplifting and inspiring to anyone who did regardless of their belief in God or lack thereof.  I am realizing now though, that with each post, although far and few in between lately, I include some aspect of my religion because it makes me who I am and fuels the thoughts I have about life's experiences.  An experience I recently went through led me to question religion for a moment.  I did not doubt my beliefs or faith in Jesus Christ, but I admit that I wanted to pretend they didn't exist for a minute.  Life without religious differences was desirable to me.  Life without concern of the future or sacrifices I'd have to make now to reach more long term goals seemed blissful.  I felt anger towards God for giving me such great knowledge and understanding of His plan.  I wanted to live carefree and experience all that life had to offer without rules and guidelines established by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I wanted to, but I could not.  I could not deny the confirmation of the truthfulness of the gospel that I have felt on a number of different occasions.  I could pretend for moments at a time that my religion did not have to interfere with how I wanted to live life at the moment, but I could never fully deny that it did and I am honestly grateful that it does interfere.  I am grateful for my knowledge and understanding of God's eternal plan because it makes these times in life and the sacrifices reluctantly made not only bearable but enjoyable because I know that I am one step closer to the next part of His plan for my life and that with each step, I am becoming more like the person He wants me to become despite my occasional resistance.  "God wants us to be happy and God gets what He wants."  At times when I think I know what will make me momentarily happy, I am always reminded that God is more interested in my eternal happiness and will provide a way for me to reach that if I submit to His will and move forward with faith and patience.  And by living in a way that is pleasing to Him, according to our own individual circumstances, we are sure to find happiness along the way as He blesses us and shows His hand in our daily lives while we patiently come to see, little by little, the beautiful plan He has for each one of us unfold before our eyes.